Oh, please allow me to introduce myself.

Such a strange and serious first post, without an introduction.

I can't sleep right now, so I thought a little about myself would be ok, since I have nothing else to do.

Hello. :)

I am a little cautious about putting certain details for fear a loved one might come across this page. You can call me J, for the time being. A little about myself -

As my little side bar shows, I am 22, I live in Minneapolis, but I am a transplant. I am originally from a smaller city from the heart of the Midwest. I decided to move to Minneapolis for a change of scenery and a fresh start. I have lived here about a year and I am just now starting to make changes, but progress is progress, right?

The idea of blogging is a little strange for me, and honestly, about 80 percent of my reasoning behind starting my own blog was specifically to get support and have access to the pro-ana community I stumbled upon here. But on top of that, I think it should be fun to chronicle this time in my life, as well.

I live on my own, and am working at the moment, versus going to school. I want desperately to return to school, and I plan to within the next year. My main obstacles are time and money, but I soon hope to start saving again, and perhaps by the end of this year I will have enough saved up for classes and then hopefully I can start working part time and taking classes again, part time.

A little insight into me - I'm the mothering type. I'm young, but my entire adult life, I have always been the one to take care of my friends, or (as they really should be called), my chosen family. It was hard for me to move away, but I think leaving my comfy little nest and letting my loved ones go about their lives was a good choice.

I like books and film. I love a good book that'll grab your attention and make you care about the story. I am a big movie buff, I love all kinds of off the wall films that leave you scratching your head. I love spending time with my friends, but I am not so hot on bars or clubs, so nights out are usually pretty tame for me, and honestly, half the time I AM out, I wouldn't mind just being at home with a good book or movie.

Now, a little more focused on the matter at hand - I have poor self control. I am lazy and prefer to avoid a lot of activity. I am a binger. If you were to put a super deluxe family pack of cookies or chips in front of me, I would not be satisfied with a couple, a handful. I would no doubt (in private) wolf down the whole thing. I have let food and eating take control over me and I am DETERMINED to take back that control.

This was my first fast. It came seemingly out of nowhere, but it was an eye-opener. I can do this. Why was I so afraid? My plan is to fast and calorie count my way to control again. I will be thin and beautiful and it will be all my own doing. I have the power. I am going to start out slow - so here is my plan (if anyone from the community should read this, please please feel free to give me advice or pointers):

I am going to start with a plan for a week at a time. Come the end of the week, I will start planning for the next. Short term plans for my long term goal.

This week -

Just coming off of a three day fast, I have decided to eat and test out scheduling for myself:

Monday - 500 calories + 45 minute of light exercise (minimum)
Tuesday - 300 calories + 30 minutes of exercise
Wednesday - fast
Thursday - 300 calories + 45 minutes exercise (min)
Friday - fast
Saturday - 500 calories (I will almost certainly be going out with friends, and I fear eating will be unavoidable just yet) + 1 hour exercise
Sunday - fast

I think that is reasonable, no? I am starting the plans off nice and slow so as not to discourage myself. I'm a quitter. If I think something will get too hard, I quit, but I am determined not to let myself fall into that this time. I am strangely optimistic, even. Heck - If the mood strikes me, I may fast on Tuesday yet, I will have to see how I feel. The whole while I will still be taking my supplements, vitamins and energy and metabolism boosters, so this week should be interesting and hopefully encouraging.


Post a Comment